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All of this has been going on for so long, I sometimes call her Suzie myself.

Drinks had turned the conversation juicy and salacious ‘Suzie’ popped out for a visit; a bit tipsy, overspilling with secrets.

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Mum puts her glass of wine on the coffee table, sits back and declares with an air of Kim Cattrall confidence: 'When I’m logged in, I call myself Suzie.' She pauses for delicious effect, appraising the faces of her listeners. It’s a night in at my new flat with the girls and my Mum.

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Suzie is my Mum’s pseudonym for when she is working from home on her sex line. Who needs bitchy office politics, stinky commutes and horrid bosses, when you can sit on your comfy sofa and talk on the phone all day?

Mum hasn’t been with my Dad since I was a baby and always chose to keep boyfriends away from home.

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